Husbands: How to serve your wife

June 9, 2025

A week ago I wrote a blog called ‘Wife Talk: Serving your husband’. Wives, if you’ve not read that blog I’d encourage you to read it and apply the tips to your marriage. Today is all about what husbands can do to serve their wives. I want to dive a bit deeper today, as a lot of male preachers say things like ‘buy her flowers’ or ‘wash the dishes’ etc, and of course those things are sweet and helpful, but in my opinion they seem quite surface level. So husbands who are reading this, I’m a wife and I’m going to share what you can do to serve your wife.

1. Listen, I mean actually listen

I want to tell my husband everything, how my day went, what I ate, who I spoke too, how I’m feeling about life, what my plans are for the week and what I’m feeling anxious about. Not only do I want to tell him, I want to tell him the same thing about 5 times, why? Honestly I don’t know, I just want to. Husbands, I 100% get why this would be frustrating, my poor husband had to hear me go on about our smart meter for 30 minutes one evening at 10.30pm when he was up for work the following day. However at the root of it I feel like a lot of wives don’t feel like they are properly heard, they believe their husbands are listening but not taking anything in, and one of the reasons why they feel that way is because the husband doesn’t ask follow up questions and doesn’t seem concerned for the things she’s concerned about. I know personally the times my husband has genuinely sat down and listened to me I feel heard, valued and understood. So next time your wife is sharing something, I’d encourage you to properly listen and ask follow up questions. Who knows, if you do this you might not have to hear her repeat it again!

2. Help out around the house in unexpected ways

Often men have the job of taking out the bins and washing up the pots. I’m not saying those jobs aren’t appreciated, however as a wife it’s easy to feel like you’re running the home by yourself, especially when dishes are left on the side, or bins are overflowing. Husbands, please be attentive to your home and find unexpected ways to help ease the load from your wives shoulders. Whether that’s her coming home to dinner already started, or waking up to the kitchen clean or coming back to the bedroom and finding the bed made. I know in my marriage I seem to notice things my husband doesn’t, and so when my husband notices things that need doing and he does them it makes me feel loved and like I’m not managing the home by myself. Here are some practical tips to implement:

if you see the bins filling up, empty them
if there’s guests coming over give the place a clean
offer to cook
put a load of laundry in if you notice the laundry bin overflowing
ask your wife what she would appreciate you doing around the house

3. Be affectionate (verbally and physically)

When my husband compliments something I wear or strokes my back when we’re at church I feel so loved. Husbands, your wife likely put a lot of thought into that outfit she’s wearing, she may be feeling insecure and so an encouraging word from you can make her go from feeling insecure to feeling like the most beautiful woman in the room. Physical touch is also so important, I’m not talking about sexual physical touch, I’m talking about those gentle touches on the back, or the kiss on the cheek, or that spontaneous hug. The evenings we sit watching TV I always give Andy a little nudge so he comes close and puts his arm around me, women love to feel physically connected to their husbands. Here’s some practical tips:

Specifically compliment her (for example your eyes are so beautiful, your figure is looking amazing today etc). If you know she’s insecure about a certain part of her body, specifically compliment that part of her body
In public find a way to physically connect with her, whether that’s holding hands or having your arm around her. I can’t tell you why, but for some reason women love it when their husbands show physical affection in public. No gross PDA though, let’s keep it respectful to others
Spontaneously be affectionate. I love the moments where my husband surprises me with a big kiss or with a compliment that makes me feel a million dollars.

4. Allow her to flourish in her calling

So many women who are wives and especially those who are mothers feel like their identity is purely in being a wife and a mum. If you as her husband can look after the kids for the afternoon, or deal with the housework so she can have some time to learn a new hobby, or pursue a dream she’s had she will feel so thankful. I don’t work on Wednesday’s, this resulted in a pay cut, however it’s allowed me to write, which I wanted to do for so long, but I struggled to find the time. My husband has been nothing but supportive, he’s helped me build this website, he’s worked hard to get promotions to help us financially, he reads the blogs and encourages me. Be your wife’s greatest cheerleader, because sadly we live in a world where many women don’t feel able to pursue their dreams.

5. Lead your family

I want to end this blog with a really important way a husband can serve his wife. My husband and I are Christians and we believe it’s a husbands job to lead his family. Your wife will love and respect you so much if you work on your own faith and if you receive leadership from God on how to lead your family. The times my husband comes to me with a direction for our family, or with something God has put on his heart it makes me love him even more. I will actually go as far to say, a man who can lead his home is what makes a man sexy in a woman’s eye, as long as it’s done with respect and Godly guidance. Women want men who know how to lead and work hard to protect their family. The greatest way you will ever serve your wife is by leading your home in a way that is honouring to her and to God.

I hope you’ve been encouraged by this blog, and husbands I hope you’ve taken tips that you can implement. Why don’t you stop reading this blog and find your wife and give her a big hug and kiss, and if you’re not with your wife, maybe send her a romantic text!

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