Life with Helen Johnson

I recently released a YouTube video where I shared some life updates, and at the end of the video I talked about feeling the need to be perfect at everything, and why I’m trying to let go of that pressure. In today’s blog I want to share four things I’m doing to move my mindset away from perfection, and how I’m trying to seek joy. I believe a joy in life is more important that doing everything right, or striving for success each and every day. So what am I doing? And most importantly, how can you implement these tips to avoid the perfection trap?

#1 – Understanding I will only flourish in the areas God wants me to flourish in

I personally feel there is a pressure to be good at everything, I think women especially are struggling with this. For many women trying to balance motherhood whilst working, whilst staying healthy, whilst being a present loving wife and a supportive friend – gosh to me that sounds like so much pressure! I had a realisation recently that I’m not supposed to be good at everything, because God hasn’t called me to do everything. I know that might sound obvious, but I think we all need to hear it loud and clear. As Andy and I step into launching our walking business I’m fully aware my blogs and YouTube content may be put on the back burner. I’m also fully aware that if I’m leading walks my gym time might have to reduce. We can’t be everywhere, doing everything!

TIP: I would encourage you to ask yourself and God ‘what am I supposed to be doing right now?’, ‘what should my time and energy be devoted to?’. One of my favourite books is ‘The Best Yes’ by Lysa Terkeurst. The book is a reminder that if we say yes to one thing, we are saying no to something else. I personally would hate to think that I was saying yes to something I won’t flourish in, whilst saying no to something I would flourish in. I’d recommend reading that book, and praying and asking for God’s wisdom on what to say yes to, and what to say no to. Accept this may mean you can’t do everything you’d hope to do, and that’s okay.

#2 – My weakness + God’s strength = perfection

In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 it says ‘And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness”. Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong’.

One of my favourite songs is Perfect by Flyleaf. The chorus lyrics are:

‘Perfect in weakness, I’m only perfect in just your strength alone, perfect in weakness, I’m only running in just your strength alone’

We need to remind ourselves daily that even if we did EVERYTHING we would never be perfect, and the jobs we accomplished would never be done perfectly either. We take the weakness that we have, as we are humans who all have weakness. And we give that to a God who has abundant strength, and that equals perfection. If we could do everything correct without any mistakes, then where would God come into the mix? If we never battled hardship, or moments of true weakness, when would we call on the Lord? A perfect example is the story of David and Goliath, without God’s strength Goliath would have never been killed. God wants you to face moments of feeling weak and unsure, because that means you need to rely on Him.

TIP: Something I want to implement in my own life is a daily time of ‘struggle prayers’. What I mean by this is 5 to 10 minutes every day where I sit down and express to God what I’m struggling to accomplish, and where I feel weak. I want to invite God into those struggles, and I trust that if it’s what God has for me, He will equip me to proceed and achieve.

#3 – Stop comparing yourself to others (especially those who are doing what you want to do)

I’ve recently had conversations with numerous people who are all feeling this pressure to “perform”. If I’m being truly honest I see it a lot in mothers. You see these young mums who are trying to everything and be everything, and you can see the struggle and demands they are facing. They look at other women who appear to be accomplishing so much more at home, but they fail to remind themselves that they work, but the other mum doesn’t. We often look at people who are accomplishing what we want to do, and when they appear to doing it better we beat ourselves up. A personal example for me is when I watch social media influencers who spend 30 minutes every day reading their Bible. I do read my Bible, but there are days that I miss, and some days it’s 5 minutes, and I then beat myself up, because I write content I feel I should be setting an example. I then remind myself that those women get paid to be influencers, whereas I’m trying to do blogging and YouTube in the few hours I have spare each week.

This is why we shouldn’t compare in the right place, as the outcome is never healthy. We either feel awful about ourselves, or we end up being nasty about someone else. This goes back to my first point about flourishing in what God has called you to. We look at others and think we should be like them, but maybe one of the reasons they’re doing so well is because God is given them strength to do well. God doesn’t want you to be a carbon copy of the women in your life, or that other dad who seems to perfectly balance work and home life! God wants you, to be you.

TIP: I remember watching a sermon by Pastor Steven Furtick, he was talking about how he felt under qualified for the job God had called him to. He said to pastor a mega church at such a young age, surrounded by men who are older and wiser felt so overwhelming. He then said ‘if God had wanted another person to start the church and lead it, then God would have picked someone else’. God has specifically called you, so therefore He will equip you.

#4 – God calls us to rest, not simply to just work

Do you ever find yourself on a hamster wheel, going round and round? It could be physical burn out, but it could also be mental burn out. My husband once told me that I’m awful at relaxing, because even when I’m resting physically, my mind is still active. I had a conversation with my sister the other night, and deep down what I was feeling was overwhelmed by trying to do so much, but finding my rest time wasn’t valuable either. I expressed to her that if I’m not working then I’m going to the gym, or training for our walking business, or writing blogs or YouTube content. I then explained my rest usually is crashing in front of the TV, and that personally for me this isn’t rejuvenating. I found myself missing friends company, because I was so focused on accomplishing everything, that I was neglecting what real rest looked like.

There will be days where we put down an unfinished project, or where we skip the gym for a hang out with the girls, or where our kids have two slices of bread and a cheese slice, rather than these elaborate lunchboxes. We need to stop telling ourselves that life is to purely work 100% of the time, because this is a lie. If God can take a day off from creating the world, I’m sure we can take a day off from our projects that keep us busy.

Tip: have a Sabbath day every week. This is something my husband and I try to implement every week, some weeks we succeed, other weeks we fail. I’m becoming more aware that I need a day off, not just for my relationship with God and others, but for my own mental and physical well being.

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