Life with Helen Johnson

Marriage is a wonderful thing, but it certainly can be a learning curve for many of us. I want to share some resources for you, as I personally have experienced the benefits of preparing for marriage, but I’ve also discovered the joys of learning in marriage. You can only prepare so much, but I hope these resources help you feel slightly more prepared and excited for marriage.

Resource #1 – The truth about Christian marriage (8 realities to expect)

• You commit for life – you are saying ’till death do us part’ – you need to be prepared for the life time commitment to the person you are choosing to marry
• You need to take your vows seriously – the words you say at the alter need to be followed and honoured for life
• You need to put your spouse first – we are called to serve one another
• There will be pressure to start a family – as children are seen as a blessing there may feel pressure to rush into parenthood, but remember a good foundation will bless your family long term
• You will need to adjust to living together – your schedules may clash, and this will naturally take time to adjust and find a healthy balance
• Sex is new, and it takes time to learn – it’s not a performance, so remove the pressure and enjoy the gift God has blessed you with in marriage
• Your values may clash – you can have the same faith but different values, so be patient and loving, and most importantly be respectful to each other
• Pressure to have a happy marriage 24/7 – some days are good, some days are bad. Your marriage will never look like rainbows and sunshine – never compare your marriage to another marriage

Resource #2 – 5 ways to respect your husband

1. Let him have a voice – God calls husbands to lead their home, in order to do this they need to be heard
2. Encourage him – rather than picking him up on every mistake, try encouraging him, even in the moments where he has tried and failed
3. Be a helper – God created women to help their husbands, don’t see this as a weakness, but as a wonderful way to respect and love your husband
4. Don’t disrespect him – if you disrespect your husband it not only negatively impacts him, but your whole marriage
5. Take interest in him – care for the things he cares about

Resource #3 – What I wish I would have known before marriage

1. The honeymoon period will come to an end – reality kicks in, you have jobs, a house to look after and much more to balance. At first this will feel overwhelming, you need to prioritise romance, as it won’t just automatically happen when life gets real
2. It won’t fix the other problems in your life – marriage is not a tool to fix every problem. But together you can work through your problems together
3. Intimacy takes work – it’s not like the movies, it takes intentionality and a devotion to keep intimacy a priority
4. Notice quirks that are really annoying – a life lived together will highlight not only the good in your spouse, but also the quirks and irritations. Patience is key!
5. Big responsibility to carry – saying ‘I do’ doesn’t transform how you act. To become the wife or husband you long to be will take work.

Resource 4 – 4 tips for newlyweds (how to start your marriage well)

1. Date nights – don’t let date nights stop once you get married. When you’re dating you aren’t together that often, so the times you are feel romantic. In marriage it’s not the same, you are living life together, so therefore you need to schedule those date nights
2. Budget for fun – before kids come on the scene, enjoy the time you have as a couple. This means budgeting for romantic weekends away, or that fancy meal out. Make the most of it while you can! Create those memories.
3. Create a chore rota – this sounds boring, but it will hopefully stop arguments! Now you’re living together you need to create a plan that works for you both.
4. Spend time with other married couples – especially couples who have been married longer than you. You need wisdom from couples who have experienced the steps you’re going to be taking in the months and years to come.

I hope these four resources help you in your journey into marriage. If you’d like to watch more of my YouTube content, please hit that subscribe button for future content.